| Since cognitive distortions
aren't helpful and can lead to dysfunctional responses and symptoms, let's examine how you can reduce them and
begin to think in a more constructive way. This process is called cognitive reframing.
As mentioned before, you have the ability to change what’s
in your mind. If you find yourself using words like “never” or “always” (“I’ll
never learn”; “I'm always overlooked”), talk back to yourself. Ask yourself, “What’s
the evidence for that?” or tell yourself: “Hey, no one could learn all this in one day. I’ll
get it, by the end of the week.” Tone down absolutes. Change “never” to “seldom”
and “always” to “often” or even "sometimes."
Let's use the previous examples (here's
where your "inner defense attorney" talks back to your "inner critic"):
| Stressor: |
I am given a new project, when I haven't completed the
last one. |
| Distorted
thought: |
Oh no! I'll never get it done in time. I could lose my
job! |
| Realistic
thought: |
I will talk to my supervisor about my concerns
and ask which project is the higher priority. I'm a responsible and valued employee; needing to re-prioritize
would hardly be grounds for dismissal. |
| Stressor: |
Co-worker
doesn't say hello. |
| Distorted
thought: |
Sally
is avoiding me. She dislikes me. I wonder
what I did wrong. |
| Realistic
thought: |
The
fact that Sally didn't say hello is most likely
due to her being preoccupied with something
important, or she may be having a bad day.
It's unlikely it has anything to do with me. |
With "cognitive reframing,"
you can experience very different reactions to
stressful situations. Over time, your reactions
should become calmer and leave you more able to
think clearly. The more this skill is practiced,
the easier and more automatic it becomes. Over
time, unrealistic thoughts which are challenged
lose their power.
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